Hard Truths and Soft Lies
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Even broken heartstrings were played once, and the music they produced was among the most beautiful in all the world. Repairing these strings is not an easy task, for sometimes in order to fix something you have a break a lot more things, sometimes doing damage then ever intended.


Garrus took the elevator to the main deck like he had so many times before, heading towards the medical bay with mixed emotions. His brain immediately became paranoid at the thought of Shepard not wanting him there, he wasn't sure what he would do first if such a thing happened- cry, scream, shoot something, or brush it off. Brushing it off was impossible for the turian, not when it was this important.

Upon reaching the med bay and finding the door closed Garrus, seeing no other alternatives, for going back empty handed would only increase his anxiety, banged on the door.

"Let me in!" Garrus said, his voice echoing through the hallway, "I know she's in there, let me in!"

The door opened, revealing John, the Commander's brother and recently promoted Sargent in the Alliance; and Ashley Williams, the gunnery chief, standing next to a bed, on which lay the Commander, Jane, who was getting some much deserved rest. Before Garrus could move, John turned around and lifted his hand, stopping him in his tracks.

"And what makes you think that she wants to see you right now Garrus?" John exclaimed, "After what you did! I'm surprised that Jane kept you on."

Garrus shook his head, somehow he knew that he would be blamed for Kaidan's death. It didn't matter that Garrus had tried everything to save him; that he had gone into one of the worst places in the entire galaxy to search for him when he came up missing. All that mattered was that he was with him when he died, that blood had gotten onto his hand. And of course there was Kaidan's child, the child that Shepard was currently carrying and the partial reason for John's arrival on the Normandy two days before.

"Let's not get into this now" Garrus replied, "I just came by to make sure my commanding officer was okay."

John shrugged, "I'm fine Vakarian"

Garrus raised his eyebrows, obviously insulted.

"And what made you think I was talking to you John?" Garrus continued, "Just because she's with child, expecting any day now, does not diminish her status as a commander. It only elevates it."

John laughed, slightly amused by Garrus' loyalty. Ashley shot him a look, it did not quiet him, not completely, but it did cause John to ease up.

"Sargent" Ashley said in a commanding voice, once John had somewhat composed himself, "As Gunnery Chief of this ship I order you to leave. Return to your post and await further orders."

John huffed, "If you think for one second that I'm going to take orders from you, you have another thing coming. I only take orders from Jane and since she's not available and being that she willingly handed the ship over to me-"

"That's Commander Shepard to you Sargent" Ashley interrupted, "And being Chief I outrank you anyway. Now move!"

John remained motionless, rolling his eyes at the thought of Ashley, a woman, being in charge of anything. The only reason he accepted orders from Jane was because of the benefit of being her brother and the small fame that came with it. Ashley wasn't entirely sure what John's motives were, but she knew that they weren't good.

Garrus meanwhile, was two seconds from giving John a well-placed, and well deserved, black eye. The only thing that was stopping him was out of concern for the Commander, who began to stir in her sleep, causing Garrus to briefly look towards the bed only to immediately revert his attention back to John.

"She's your sister John" Garrus began once again, his voice stern with an air of calmness, "And that means more than running a damn ship. If being in charge is all you care about you will never lead the Normandy, I don't care what the Commander said. We do not take orders from your kind."

John, who saw no point in arguing further, for he would only be wasting his breath, left the med bay without another word. Garrus didn't know where he was headed, but he knew that as long as he remained _in charge_, things were going to be difficult.

Ashley sighed pitifully, in complete disbelief that John was the Commander's brother. Garrus also sighed, but his was for a different reason. For a moment he was back with Lieutenant Kaidan, the bombs falling around them as they lay trapped in a hole, geth on all sides and Reapers closing in.

"Can you believe that that guy is related to Jane?" Ashley said rhetorically, her voice bringing Garrus out from his mind and back into reality.

"I'm just glad we're stuck with the good one long term" Garrus answered, as he collected himself, "Who knows what would've happened if he were really in charge…we'd all be dead."

Ashley nodded in full agreement, John's sexism overriding his desire for power and control.

"Come on Garrus" Ashley said as she made her way towards the door, "We should let her rest."

Garrus ignored her and knelt by Shepard's bedside. Without even thinking Garrus raised his left hand and felt Jane's bulging stomach, his right grasping the small bedrail for support. Once again he was unsure what to feel-happy, sad, angry-he felt all of these things come on him all at once. He felt drowned, as if he were in a vast ocean and had forgotten how to swim. Resisting the urge to throw up, Garrus stared at the Commander's face, finding strength and courage behind her closed eyes.

"Know this" Garrus whispered, his voice tender and comforting yet carrying a sense of authority that preceded rank and file."That even though Kaidan is gone, you are never alone."

Garrus laughed a bit, remembering something, a memory long dead but not forgotten.

"As a member of the crew, there is no order you will give that I will not follow, even if it against my own principles-"

Garrus knew that this was technically a lie, for he would never go against his principles even when faced with a direct order, for it would be against his nature. That being said, Garrus also knew that Shepard would never give an order that would make him do so in the first place.

"As a friend, I can say without hesitation that my life comes before yours."

The turian wasn't entirely sure why he said this, something inside him told him that it was more than just an affirmation of friendship. Ashley, who stopped just before the door, detected, or at least thought she detected, endearment in the statement.

"I do not know what his future will be" Garrus continued, "or if it will be the same as ours, but I hope and pray that it is one where he can live a full and healthy life. If we stick together and do our part, that will be a certainty, there isn't a doubt in my mind."

Ashley moved forward in an attempt to pull Garrus away from the bed. The turian held up his hand, begging for patience and that he would be a minute more. Ashley backed off as Garrus turned his attention to the baby.

"Hello. You don't know me and I don't know you, but that isn't going to stop us from having this conversation."

A small laugh. Garrus felt a hand, warm yet rough, on his arm, causing him to turn towards it and find Shepard awake. Garrus pulled his hands away and rose to his feet, embarrassed that he had been caught.

"Forgive me Commander" Garrus said quickly, "That was out of line. I should let you rest, you're going through enough right now, don't need me adding to your troubles."

Shepard laughed again and shook her head in disagreement.

"It's alright Garrus" she replied, "No harm done. You felt him I'm sure."

Garrus nodded, for he had nothing to hide and no reason to hide, honesty being the best policy when it came with Shepard.

"Yes ma'am" Garrus exclaimed, his brain switching back into his role as a Normandy officer, "He will make a fine soldier one day, if that is the path he chooses."

Shepard rolled her eyes, amused with Garrus' sudden attitude change.

"At ease solider" Shepard said jokingly, "You don't have to be formal with me Garrus, not after all we've been through."

Garrus looked around aimlessly, his attempt at hiding his obvious embarrassment further, his eyes eventually found Ashley, who was still standing at the door. Shepard, following his gaze, also landing on Ashley, only gave a smile.

"Thank you Williams" Shepard continued, "You can go now, I'm in good hands."

Ashley nodded slowly and made her way of the room, still trying to make sense of the various situations that were crawling around in her head. After a few seconds of waiting, Shepard motioned for Garrus to take a seat, Garrus, finding none available, remained where he was.

"Is there something you wanted Commander?" Garrus asked curiously, at the same time wondering if it would be rude to simply ask permission to leave.

Shepard readjusted herself on the bed and gently patted her stomach as if it was the most important thing in the world.

"It's going to be hard, raising him on my own" Shepard exclaimed, "Especially with Kaidan gone, and the Normandy. I can't leave Garrus, not now. This, the ship, the crew, it's too important."

Garrus sighed in agreement, for it was indeed a problem, one that needed solving and solving fast.

"Commander" Garrus began, "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, don't. Abortion is not what Kaidan would have wanted."

Shepard, at hearing this, laughed so hard that it almost gave Garrus a heart attack.

"Easy Commander!" Garrus urged, "You don't want to hurt it."

Shepard rolled her eyes again, running her index finger playfully over Garrus' scar. It was quick, so not to give any mixed signals, but it was also intimacy of the familial sort, Garrus being seen more of a brother than a subordinate.

"No one's talking abortions Vakarian" Shepard exclaimed, "If I start to I trust you'll stop me."

Garrus nodded, "With every effort" the alien replied, "although I don't think I can take you alone, might have to get Wrex to help me."

Shepard laughed again as Garrus turned to leave, before he could leave the bedside, Shepard stopped him once more.

"Thank you Garrus. For everything."

Garrus nodded, saying nothing as he finally walked out of the med bay, leaving Shepard to some much needed rest, just as the doctor came back for her rounds. It took everything Garrus had not to break down in that moment, to tell Shepard everything-about John, about Kaidan, and especially about his ever-shifting feelings, despite this Garrus left it alone and made his way towards the engineering deck.


End file.
